Faithbase

Good morning and welcome to today's sermon in the series, Sex is Marriage. Today we're looking at Ephesians 5, 25 to 27. The title is, The Church is Bride. I want to read the text to you, and I'm reading from the New Living Translation for the time being. I say that because I'll be looking at a couple different translations throughout the sermon. But verse 25, For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, he gave up his life for her, to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church, without a spot or wrinkle, or with any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. Heavenly Father, give us wisdom today as we examine your word, especially I ask that you would guide me and allow me to express what you've placed on my heart concerning this passage of scripture. We pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. There are three sections, of course, three verses. Love as Christ loved, to sanctify and to cleanse for glorious beauty. And what's interesting, the title I said is, The Church is Bride, but the church is never called the bride in this particular passage. And that is not particularly significant in the sense that this section that we are looking at here, and again, this is just part, just another puzzle piece. It is not the whole, we won't connect everything together until we have all the pieces on the table. I've said this before, but I want to make clear that the series titled Sex is Marriage will not come to its conclusion until we have all the puzzle pieces. There's quite a bit more to do, but each of these sermons is designed to be a useful part of the puzzle, a useful piece that you can take the things that we talk about here and you can put them into practice immediately, of course. Now the interesting thing about the way that Paul deals with this subject is he toggles back and forth, if we want to use a modern term, toggles back and forth between a love of the husband for his wife and the love of Jesus Christ for his church. And it's sometimes difficult to see where one ends and one begins, but the truth is at the end of this whole section, Paul says, well, this is a great mystery because I'm talking about Jesus Christ and his church. And as I've mentioned, I don't believe Paul is just talking about this, the verse where he says that this concerns the leaving of a husband from his parents and joining to his wife. Paul is talking about the entirety of his presentation here, that all of this is actually about Jesus Christ and his church, and that it is designed to be an illustration, no, no, that's wrong, it's designed to be a teaching concerning the husband and his wife. It's actually the husband and his wife that are an illustration of Jesus Christ and the church. So a husband's love is, if you go back a little bit in the section, we're supposed to submit one to another. For a wife, this is to be a submission to her husband, and for a husband, this means to love his wife. So the love of a husband is an act of submission to his wife. According to the text that we have here, the term, the Greek term that is used is agapele. One of the terms, one of the Greek terms that were in use in that day, that meant love. Eros means more of the romantic or erotic love, in fact that's where we get the term erotic. Phileo is a familial, friendly love. And agapele, actually, in the time where it was in use, and when Paul was using it in this way, it didn't actually have this special Christian connotation to it. Now, as Paul does, as the New Testament does with other common Greek words, he is assigning, you might say, some new definition to it. Not particularly here, but throughout his writings. But this agapele is given the character of self-sacrificial love, to love someone without expecting anything in return. And so it's been reworked in the New Testament. Again, in the culture of the day, it didn't have the same kind of connotation, the same kind of definition that Paul and the New Testament writers give it. So it has to do with service, and it has to do with submission through the giving of oneself in order to benefit the other person. And that's, in fact, I think we could say is what the golden rule is all about, to do what is most beneficial for the other person, even at great cost to ourselves. And a husband's love of this sort is directed at his wife. Now we are supposed to have the same self-sacrificing love for others, not just our spouse, but in the context of what Paul is talking about here, he wants the husband to realize that there is no one else who receives this type of love at this level, I suppose we could say. There's no other person that the husband should have this kind of attitude, this kind of love for other than his wife, and there's no sloppiness in this allowed. There's no, what is nowadays called an emotional affair allowed. You cannot have a relationship, a man cannot have a relationship with another woman that even approaches the kind of love that he's supposed to have for his wife. And this is another subject which I'm not going to get into this morning, but the truth is I don't think that a man should be having women as friends. I don't care whether he's, well if he's married, certainly if he's unmarried, those women that he has as friends, he should be simply exploring the possibility of marriage and not cultivating these relationships of close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. So for a husband to love his wife, he must love her very closely, very specifically, I guess we could say that there's no tolerance within the whole of scripture for a man to have an affectionate relationship with another woman that is not unlike, or is closely like I should say, what he would have with his wife. And so as we go through this text we are reminded that the love a man has for his wife is supposed to be a love that is akin to the same love he has for himself, indeed that's what it is. He is instructed, the husband is instructed to love as Christ loved, and just one out of many that we could choose, Luke 22, 27 gives us Christ's viewpoint. He says who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table of course, but not here, for I am among you as one who serves. And that is what the man is supposed to have, that kind of character that Jesus had in his relationship with his wife. Jesus Christ is the measure that a man must try to reach, that is what his love for his wife should be like. We are supposed to love one another, there's no question about that, the scripture very plainly says that. But the love that Jesus Christ has for his church, for his bride, is very specific. And so if that is our model as husbands, then we need to realize, as I mentioned earlier, that there's no one else in our life who should receive this kind of love. There's no one else who should command our emotions, there's no one else who should command our loyalty, our faithfulness, our protection, and on and on and on, as does the love we have for our wife. And so the love that Jesus Christ has for his church is very unique, for God so loved the world, the cosmos, all of creation, that he gave his only begotten son. But as we go throughout the text of the New Testament, it becomes very clear that Jesus' death on the cross, his shed blood, his resurrection, his ascension, all of those things were pointed toward his church, his bride. And it is through his church, through his bride, that the love of God to the world, to the cosmos, is realized. And again, this would be another sermon altogether, but just to touch on the fact that it is through the rejoined humanity bringing themselves individually and corporately as one under the authority of Jesus Christ in their arena of activity, that is how the love of God is shown to the created order. Yes, he brings rain on the just and the unjust, he is the one who causes the seasons and so forth, but it is the improvement of creation through the work of God's people that is the primary means of God showing his love in this New Testament age towards the cosmos. There's another thing that I should also point out, that Christ's love for his church is also exemplified in his direct pursuit of his bride. There was nobody else. He was pursuing the bride, pursuing the church exclusively. So the church is Jesus' primary object of love. The church is at the center of the plans of Jesus Christ for all of creation. And so this pursuit, this desire, the church is Jesus Christ's object of delight, and his intention is to maximize the potential of the church corporately. His intention is to bring his bride into close, deep relationship, and to use, not in a negative sense, but to partner with, and we have to be careful when we say that because obviously God, the Eternal Son, has no need to partner with humanity. All could be accomplished without the partnership between God and the bride, Jesus Christ and the bride, but he has chosen to do that. He has chosen his special people and has chosen to, and again, partnership is probably the wrong term, but he's chosen to work with and work through, I guess is how we can say it, the people of God, the church. And that is the primary, again, the primary way that the kingdom of God is realized, that the kingdom mandate is fulfilled, or this dominion mandate, or the great commission is through his people. I would say it's more than the primary, it's the only way. This is how God has decided that this is going to happen, that the entirety of the world will be evangelized, and then the creation brought back under the control of the Son of Man in a very practical sense, just as the creation was originally under the control of Adam, where the Adamic chore is fulfilled and completed in Jesus Christ, the last Adam, the Son of Man, and he does that through his people. It says that he gave himself for his church, gave himself for her. He died on her behalf, didn't do this for everybody and anybody, he died for his people. And I'm not going to get into a discussion about the efficacy of Christ's death. Well, certainly his death and resurrection, what he did, his shed blood was sufficient for the entirety of human population, but it is specific, sufficient, but it's specific for the people that he has drawn unto himself, humanity, his bride. And he continues to uphold and to protect his people, to care for his people, to care for his bride. Now this is how a husband should love his wife, his love should be self-sacrificial. He cannot place himself first, but must place his wife first. It is unlimited in the sense that he doesn't grow tired of expressing his love through his action. And she should be the center of his plans. Now all of these things that I've just said, some folks will say, well, no, good grief, if you make the wife the center of your plans, you're denying Jesus Christ. And let's please have enough maturity to understand that when I'm talking about these things, all of this, of course, is under the lordship of Jesus Christ. And our primary allegiance, men and women, is to Jesus the Christ, the eternal son, the reigning king of the universe. But I shouldn't have to explain that. Let's be mature enough to understand that when I say a husband must be willing to place his wife at the center of his plans, those are the plans that God has called him to complete, which is the dominion mandate. All of these terms are interchangeable. The kingdom mandate, the dominion mandate, the great commission, all of these things ultimately point to the same end, and that is the fulfillment of the Abrahamic promises, the fulfillment of God's plans for this creation. Now, when we look at 1 Corinthians 13, if I can get the right page, 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7, just a reminder of what kind of love we are supposed to have. Now, this is general, but the most important target of this love, if you want to use that term, is a man's wife. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable. It keeps no record of wrong, of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up. Love never loses faith. It is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Now, if every husband was exercising that kind of love for his wife, can you imagine how joyful and wonderful a wife's experience as his spouse would be if we were expressing that kind of love toward our wives every day? It's also important for us to understand that the bride belongs exclusively to the husband, and the husband should love accordingly. I will touch on this again because it seems to be such a misunderstanding among so many Christians, especially, oddly, among the conservative Christians, fundamentalists, I guess you might say, and interestingly enough, among some of the staunch conservative charismatics as well. But this idea that a woman submits to men in general is a bunch of baloney. That the bride, just as the bride of Jesus Christ belongs exclusively to him and submits to no other, ultimately will look to Jesus the Christ. Likewise, the bride, the human bride, submits exclusively to her husband. His love is exclusive for her in the fashion that we've already talked about. Now, I'm not going to, again, I don't need to digress, I'll just touch on it, but obviously there are other authorities that we look to or answer to. But in the context of what I'm talking about here, it is a very exclusive relationship in that the husband and bride return that exclusivity to one another. Because they are a team, they are rejoined, they are a single entity in this covenant relationship. So the husband's life is self-sacrificial, it's very focused, he's supposed to love as Jesus Christ loves the church. And so we, as husbands, must study and understand the example of Jesus Christ. What was his love, what is his love like for his church? And we must be sure that we reserve that form of love for one and one only. Now secondly, we see that the love of Jesus Christ is to sanctify and to cleanse in verse 26. Now there's discussion about whether this is talking about the initial experience of salvation. Hebrews 10.10, for God's will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all time. 214 he gave his life to free us from every kind of sin to cleanse us and to make us his very own people Totally committed to doing good deeds and we begin to get a hint right there because the Cleansing is of course once and for all But there must be a zeal for good works as well As we just read in Titus Committed to doing good deeds. That's one of the outcomes of this cleansing and so there is a zealousness for good works and in in that sense, there is an immediate cleansing, of course when when Jesus brings us into relationship with him as our Hearts are made new or we are on that immediate moment made a new creation and we are cleansed of sin We are made pure and holy in a very I guess we could say a forensic or a legal sense Perhaps is a better way to put him we are righteous But there is an ongoing aspect as well James 1 18 I'm gonna jump ahead here had this later but of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth that we might be a kind of first fruits of his creatures and so those who are brought into this relationship have a Position of being the first fruits which implies that there is more to come We'll get back to that in just a minute here because when a husband is Emulating what Jesus Christ has done here And there is an act of sanctification in the sense that he is making whole Humanity with his with the joining with his wife in that rejoining with his wife I should say now Jesus Christ made each of us whole in the sense that we are declared righteous We are washed clean, but it went in the husband wife wife relationship There is a sanctification in the sense that and again It has nothing to do with our salvation or with the salvation of the wife, but there is this making whole bringing back together a making right if you will by rejoining humanity So as and then is the ongoing aspect of this that the husband is supposed to be a guide in this kingdom realization He doesn't do for the wife what she needs to do as a follower of Jesus Christ But he is a teacher and a guide and he is helping to to helping her in this process of sanctification To be zealous for good deeds. We'll cover more of that in just a moment, but we see that Jesus Christ cleansed the church forgiveness of sins of course is what we're talking about here that the past is washed away and So that the bride of Jesus Christ is made right and ready for fellowship both of us Individually both individually and corporately and in the sense that a husband Would emulate this the way that he would emulate this one of the things that he does is to extend forgiveness now He's not granting forgiveness as God But he is extending forgiveness as we are told to do that If we want forgiveness, we are supposed to extend forgiveness and we must be able to do that with our wives There is also a need to deal sometimes for a husband to deal with his wife's past We'll cover this more when we get to another section actually in Ephesians 6 but There is a need sometimes Especially in now and now these days where you frankly not very often Have a virgin man and a virgin woman joining in holy matrimony and so both the husband and the wife But in this case, we're talking about the husband But the husband needs to deal with the past of his wife he needs to forgive and Frankly forget because that's what forgiveness is is not bringing it up. You don't bring it up to yourself you don't bring it up to your wife, whatever it is and she would likewise return that favor if in fact the husband is Was not a virgin upon Marrying his wife and and and the wife was not a virgin upon marrying her husband They're both gonna have to deal with that and we'll cover that in more detail later But that is part of the cleansing an emulation of what Jesus has done for his bride Of course, it is a very different level. The husband does not grant forgiveness. He does not truly cleanse her the wife of her past but he has to extend forgiveness and he has to be able to deal with that past and To extend forgiveness for whatever may have happened and then to deal with it appropriately so that it's not coming up all the time now this is a there's has to be an understanding of the relationship because if there is a a cleavage a break a Divide because of unforgiveness Because of an inability to deal with the past you see when you when you walk into when you come into a relationship you need to know what you're walking into and you need to understand that if you make the decision to Marry a woman to be joined with her sexually and if you know that she has been promiscuous in the past You sure as heck better have that taken care of before you ever decide to marry her You need to know that you you need to forgive her and know that you can continue in an attitude of forgiveness and to deal With the past so that you are emulating Jesus Christ in his cleansing of his bride again. I don't need to reiterate Says that is through the water of the word That Christ is bringing cleansing to make her holy and clean washed by the cleansing of God's Word or it could be Translated with a word and some think that this is the baptismal pledge that the washing is the baptism and that the word is a confession of Jesus Christ in at the time of baptism But I think frankly that what we're talking about here is the word itself is the gospel and the teaching of Jesus Christ that's what's washing. So you need the Spirit of God washing us with the word I think is what's being talked about here that this is what Jesus Christ has done for his church that he has washed her with the word even Spurgeon Interestingly enough didn't think that this was talking about baptism he believed that was talking about the action of the gospel and the teaching of Jesus Christ on the Person who comes into relationship with God in Jesus Christ So there is an important element here of course that initial Washing and cleansing as we've already talked about and I already read James 1 8 But of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth And so it's the Word of God that washes us now. I'm gonna read a lengthy section here for Romans 10 9 to 17 We'll talk a little bit about that as we complete that because I want to make some application of this of course Again, the the washing of the water with a word or with and the word and What that means in this context to be washed with the cleansing of God's Word Romans 10 9 to 17 if you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be Saved and there's a word right there. That's the pledge that's often Considered part of what is being talked about here in Ephesians 5 Verse 10 for it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God and it is by openly declaring your faith That you are saved as the scripture tells us anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect They have the same Lord who gives generously to all who call on him for everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him and how can they believe in him if they have not? Heard about him and how can they hear about him unless someone tells them and how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? This is where the scripture says how beautiful are the feet of the messengers who bring good news But not everyone welcomes the good news for Isaiah the Prophet said Lord who has believed our message so verse 17 faith comes from hearing that is hearing the good news about Christ or That could be translated in a hearing by the Word of God so to be washed by the word is Is both the gospel and the teaching of Jesus Christ? It is this ongoing Cleansing I think that is taking place to Corinthians 7 and 1 because we have these promises and he's talking about being the temple of God Corporately, but he also Paul talks about this individually, but because we have these promises dear friends Let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit and let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God the same Greek there the same cleansing and the the Point is that there is this immediate cleansing when we confess Christ as Lord We are made a new creation at that point as boom happens right then but there is an on glowing ongoing cleansing as Paul talks about here that we actually have a responsibility to Continue this to 1 Peter 1 22 you are cleansed from your sins when you obey the truth immediate So now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters Love each other deeply with all your heart. That's an ongoing action It's a process you learn to do that and you are cleansed in the sense of an ongoing Action or process as you learn to walk in the ways of Jesus Christ. No for a husband the water of the word is is Obviously has nothing to do with that immediate salvation The only way that might have any connection whatsoever is if a man were to preach the gospel to his wife and she came to know Jesus Christ he would simply be the instrument of God's cleansing the instrument of bringing the word that God then cleansed that that person with but the primary Way that a man would emulate Christ in this is that he he must learn of course and then teach He must be in both word and deed a teacher to help his wife as she is undergoing this on This process of cleansing that that goes on throughout the entire Christian walk must lead by example Must know the scripture Must apply that scripture all scriptures inspired by God and is useful to teach us What is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives? to be cleansed by the word Continuing in verse 16 of 2 Timothy 3 it corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right and a husband First of all be in submission to Christ in his word so that he can teach his wife and his children for that matter and Continue this this process is ongoing process of growth in Christ's likeness so a husband must imitate Jesus Christ Upholding and encouraging as the Spirit works through what he is doing in this relationship He's not performing the work, but he is a support you might say just as we are all a Tool in the hand of the Lord God a tool in the hand of Christ to accomplished his ends Though this is the that's where the husband is here He is a tool in the hand of Jesus Christ to help accomplish a particular end He's a support of his wife. He should be here her vote most vocal cheerleader But he again is this very practical supporter a very practical teacher a very practical example of one who is into the Word of God is deeply immersed in the Word of God and is allowing the word by the power of the Holy Spirit to renew his mind and to change his life and behaviors and Then he can be the leader in the example to his wife finally this Love of Jesus Christ is for the glorious beauty of the church and it says that Jesus Christ will present to himself a glorious church and there is of course eschatology here in the sense that ultimately at the end of this age When Jesus Christ concludes this age the church will be Glorious in the sense that there will be the perfection of the of the Bride of Jesus Christ. That's the final outcome But there again is an ongoing aspect. There's a continuing harvest Paul talks about presenting the church as a pure virgin to Jesus Christ and He's talking about I think that you know on an individual basis, but of course corporately But there is a ongoing aspect of this that as each one of us comes to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior We are presented to him in glory and this of course brings glory to God This brings glory to God by its composition you might say let me read to you Ephesians 3 8 to 12 It's not just the composition but as we'll see here, but though I am the least deserving of all God's people He graciously gave me the privilege of telling the Gentiles about the endless treasures available to them in Christ I was chosen to explain to everyone this mysterious plan that God the creator of all things had kept secret from the beginning Now listen to verse 10 God's purpose and all this was to use the church to display his wisdom in its rich variety To all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was his eternal plan Which he carried out through Jesus Christ the Lord Because of Christ and our faith in him we can now boldly and confidently Come into God's presence So one of the things that was glorious that is glorious about the church and it is not waiting for the end of all things, but it is the expression of God's plan that the church Expresses to all the the powers and the authorities the principal principalities and powers That this is God's plan unfolding in this present age So the actual existence of the church Today is a glory to God is glorious and the the deeds of the church the Accomplishments of the church in the name of Jesus Christ are likewise Showing how this plan unfolds and is a glory to God because of that. There's no stain a wrinkle or blemish and again We can look at the eschatology of this at the end of all things when the church is fully complete and perfect But there is also the spiritual aspect a new creation That takes place even now That in a very real sense, I guess we could say spiritually or theologically, but in a very real sense each individual is made whole no stain no wrinkle no blemish and is Expressing that by bearing fruit and again the final perfection Awaits the fullness of this but there is a process that that actually expresses this this movement toward no stain wrinkle or blemish to be holy and blameless in Jesus Christ and again, there is the ultimate end The eschatology of that but there is also the day today But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all Wickedness, it says in the New Living Translation or unrighteousness in the new King James for instance Then Philippians 2 12 to 16 one of my favorite sections of Scripture Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you and now that I am away it is even more important Work hard to show the results of your salvation Obeying God with deep reverence and fear for God is working in you giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him Do everything without complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you live clean innocent lives as children of God Shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people hold firmly to the Word of Life Then on the day of Christ's return I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless So so the expression of this holiness and this blamelessness this lack of stain wrinkle or blemish this glory of God is Expressed on our day-by-day Follow obedience to Jesus Christ obedience to God and His Word now we're set apart and consecrated to Jesus Christ and that should be Realized should be actualized in the way that we live our lives now for the husband to present a Wife to himself in some ways. It's easier to pin down Than what we just talked about with the the church in Jesus Christ Because he presents a wife to himself. Now. This is of course kind of a loose connection here because A husband doesn't, when he takes a woman in matrimony, he's not presenting her to himself generally, of course, nowadays the father will walk the bride down the aisle but the metaphor of what a husband is doing when he takes a wife the metaphor, of course, of what Jesus Christ has done is he's coming into relationship, his search is ended and the intention is that there will be this unending honeymoon, not in the sense that it's shallow bliss but it is this that this rapture that a man is enraptured with his bride, with his wife throughout the relationship because he is presenting to himself, he is bringing into relationship with himself this wonderful creature and this glorious wife she is further made glorious as the husband works with her to help her maximize her potential so that she might be blossoming in this relationship, in this covenant relationship and when you think about it, it should be imperative upon the man, he should feel that it is imperative upon him because this is the rejoining of humanity and if he is not doing all that he can to enhance and to expand the abilities and the purpose, not the purpose, but the realization of purpose in his bride, then the humanity, the expression of the rejoining of humanity that he's part of will be stunted, will be truncated because what he wants is a wife who's happy and fulfilled who is pursuing the calling that God has upon her life and is being shown to be without stain, wrinkle, or blemish there should be a cultivation of faithfulness between the two the husband should always give positive report concerning his wife and work to uphold her reputation the both of them should be pursuing Christ-likeness but it is the responsibility of the husband to offer this kind of protection to his wife that she will never be accused of having stain, wrinkle, or blemish in her behaviors or anything else and so the the husband works to see his wife as holy and blameless. One of the terms, one of the things that we understand about home holy, excuse me, is that is to be set apart just as the church is set apart for Jesus the Christ the wife is set apart for her husband in this special covenant relationship which is of course, as we have already discussed, the sexual, the act of sexual intercourse is the rejoining, it establishes this this rejoining and it is actually marriage like it's the one book, the act of marriage, where the sex is marriage and so a woman is set apart for her husband initially and ongoing in that act of sexual intercourse but they continue to work together as they, as Paul says, he's seeking the perfection of Jesus Christ, not that he's arrived just as the husband and wife don't arrive in this life but they are seeking the perfection of Christ-likeness and they are not meant to go it alone. Again, you can't rush ahead of the one with you with whom you have been rejoined and expect, as you leave her in the dust, so to speak, and expect your rejoined humanity to have the kind of impact it's supposed to have. So husbands must exercise loving headship over the wife she is in submission to him and his submission to her is to express this amazing love care and concern for her. He must expand, expand, I should say, great effort toward her well-being and of course to be thinking of her, as the scripture says, for all of us, but in this relationship all the more important, to be thinking of her more highly than himself. Let's bring some quick application here. And one thing I want to say as we wrap this up is that a man should not assume the role of a husband if he's not gonna love his wife in this way. If he's not gonna love a woman in the way that Jesus Christ loves the church, then he has no business entering into the relationship of covenant marriage because he cannot fulfill the role properly unless he has this Christ-like love, which is always self-sacrificing. He cannot fulfill his role without that. They will be rejoined in this sexual union. It will be rejoined humanity, but it will be a withered and weak rejoined humanity, unless a man has this kind of love that he's supposed to have. Because Christ-like love always puts the other person first. There is no room for self-absorption. There is no room for self-centeredness and thinking about self. Far too often a man comes into a relationship with a wife and he then has some kind of regret. Maybe, as I mentioned earlier, his wife was promiscuous before the marriage and he didn't think that through. He didn't actually come to the point of saying, yes, I can forgive her. I can deal with the past. I can not bring things up. And so he then destroys this rejoining with his inability to love as he ought to. And that is actually an example of self-centeredness. It's not justifiable anger or resentment. That's never justifiable. He must be willing to do what most benefits the other person. In this case, most emphatically, do what benefits his wife, even at great sacrifice, great cost to himself. And if a man is not willing to do that, then he has no business entering into the sexual relationship, which is marriage. He has no business becoming a husband. Because a husband must be prepared to not only love, as we described, but to lead and to teach. So he has a responsibility to study, to learn, to live Jesus Christ. So he must be deeply involved in Bible study. He must be regularly involved in reading theological texts, good solid texts. When my wife and I became married, one of the things that I did was begin a library. Begin to do a lot of reading and study of the scripture and read solid theological works. I hadn't done that before. But I realized I had a responsibility. I had to be able to lead and to teach my wife and I had to be able to do so by an immersion in the Word of God and in study. But it's not just knowing things. You need to walk the talk. And that's where a lot of men fall down and see a lot of men enjoy the study and so forth. But then they don't actually live it out. They are not Christ-like in their relationship with their wife. So they also, I should mention before I move on, they need to study and learn their wife as well. They need to know what her talents and abilities are. They need to know what the calling God has placed on her life might be. They need to understand the best way for he and his wife to fit together. The sexual union is what creates this single humanity, this single expression of humanity, the rejoined humanity. But the fit, just like Paul says later in this letter, that a man and a prostitute who are sexually involved become one, but that certainly isn't going to be a good fit. It's not going to be something that is useful in the pursuit of the kingdom mandate. And so a husband needs to know his wife, needs to understand who she is, what her dreams are, what her abilities, what her personality is like, her strengths, her weaknesses, and what, as I mentioned, what the calling God has placed on her life. Beyond, I mean, of course, the calling of being a wife and a mother, but there are other things she could do. And so a husband needs to know that. So study and learn Jesus Christ by knowing the Word of God, but study and learn his wife as well. And finally, a husband must seek his wife's maximum potential, because she is a servant of Jesus Christ, and he has a responsibility to bring her to her highest potential, to be a tool in the hand of God, to help her achieve her highest potential. She's responsible to Jesus Christ, but the husband is also responsible to Jesus Christ, to be the one who is loving and supportive and helping her pursue what it is that God has placed on her life. And so the husband was going to answer to God for his failure to provide that. And his success, or her success, I should say, is his glory. So this should be, this is a win-win situation, that a man is fulfilling his role as teacher, protector, provider, and as the woman comes to her maximum potential, she is a glory, not only to God, but to her husband as well. The thing we need to realize is that the failure to do all of this, the failure to love and to teach and to bring to maximum potential, means that rejoined humanity is weakened. Yeah, you might have this, you will, if you're married and you're having sex, you have this relationship where you are part of rejoined humanity, but there's a, it's weak. Indeed, it's shattered. It can be dramatically shattered, depending on the behavior of a husband. It's almost always the husband who makes a marriage unstable. It's almost always the husband who is failing to do what he's been called to do and to emulate Jesus Christ in this relationship. So, you must have the Christ-like love along with a wife's Christ-like submission. Both of these are required, because this is the vehicle of kingdom realization. Rejoined humanity, man and wife, both fulfilling the roles that God has placed on their lives, doing so in service to one another and to the glory of God in Jesus Christ. This is the vehicle of kingdom realization.