Faithbase

Ashes to beauty day six. The beans or the background. In Jesus's time, to be a widow meant you were dependent upon your grown children for support and if you had no children and no husband, sadly you were destitute. The verse Luke chapter 7 verses 12 through 15. As he, Jesus, approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out. The only son of his mother and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, don't cry. Then he went up and he touched the bear they were carrying him on and the bearer stood still. He said, young man, I say to you, get up. The dead man sat up and began to talk and Jesus gave him back to his mother. The steam. What does this mean to me and how can I apply it to my life today? My brother passed away four years ago. Three years back, as the one anniversary, the first anniversary got closer, I finally took the time to blog how I felt. To tap into those feelings and write them down. As a writer, I suppose this was my way of finding closure, comfort, and understanding. I decided to share my words in hopes that I could possibly help someone else dealing with hard times in their lives. Here's what I said. One year since the call that brought me to my knees. One year since I melted into my husband's lap and sobbed on our kitchen floor. When someone you love dies suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, it hurts. It takes a long time to navigate through it all, to process it, if those are even the right words. I'm still processing and as we come up to the first anniversary, I'm finally at a place where I'm ready to write. A little anyways. So here we go. A few days after my brother passed away, I was back at home in Columbia, South Carolina and in my hurry to get home to family, I realized I forgot to pack any dressy shoes to wear to his service. So I went out to the mall and it hit me like a ton of bricks. While my world had suddenly slammed to a halt, the rest of the world was still spinning. Business as usual. I remember aimlessly walking up and down the aisles of shoes and belk, tears streaming down my face and wanting to scream at the strangers around me. Don't you know what my heart is going through? How in the world can you care about something as pointless as shopping? Life has to be so much more than this. And what I really wanted to scream was, does anyone notice or even care about my pain? My husband and immediate family were there, they cared, but they were hurting too. I still felt like I needed help. Someone who could make sense of it all come and help me to pick up the pieces that had suddenly shattered all around me. Surrounded by people, I was suddenly aware of how desperately alone I was. Life can be hard sometimes. There are days where you feel like the world just stops spinning and you have no clue how you're ever gonna put one foot in front of the other again. There are times where you need Jesus more than anything in the world, yet most often you can't muster the strength to call out to him. Those are the moments where he intercedes on your behalf, where he hears your moans and your wordless sobs and he just holds you close. Just as Jesus does with this woman, please understand that he sees you. His heart aches to know you are aching. Even during those moments where you don't necessarily understand the pain yourself, he does. He gets it and he is there. Reach out to him today, friend. Lay whatever burdens, hurts, and worries you have on your heart and allow him to wrestle through those emotions for you.